By Shannon Battle, President of Family Services of America, LCMHS, LCAS
The heartbreaking news of LSU football player Kyran Lacy’s death by suicide has rocked many of us to the core. A young man, full of potential, loved by teammates, fans, and family—gone too soon. His father, Kenny Lacy, shared a raw and powerful plea on Facebook that should stir every parent to pause and listen:
“Young parents, start talking to your kids at a very early age and make sure they are confident and comfortable confiding in you… Don’t be cool with ‘I’m alright, or I’m good’ when you know deep down something isn’t right.”
As parents, especially of teens, we often hit walls when trying to connect. The shrugs. The short answers. The “I’m good” that feels too rehearsed. It’s tempting to let it slide, to avoid the pushback. But now, more than ever, we need conversations—not criticism.
Tip 1: Don’t Take Their Distance Personally
When your teen shuts down, it’s not always about you. Sometimes, they’re scared. Embarrassed. Confused by their own emotions. Instead of responding with frustration, try saying:
“I know you don’t want to talk right now, but I want you to know I’m here. No judgment. Just love.”
This kind of response builds emotional safety—and teens need that more than they let on.
Tip 2: Ask Better Questions
Instead of “What’s wrong with you?” try:
- “What’s been heavy on your mind lately?”
- “When do you feel most alone or misunderstood?”
- “What’s something you wish someone would ask you but hasn’t?”
These questions create room for honest reflection—and let your teen feel seen rather than interrogated.
Tip 3: Create Consistent Safe Spaces
Make time for weekly check-ins without phones, distractions, or lectures. Maybe it’s a car ride, a walk, or just late-night chats over snacks. Let your child know:
“This is our time. You talk, I listen. No punishment. Just space to be you.”
Consistency builds trust. The more you show up, the more likely they are to open up.
Tip 4: Prepare for the Discomfort
Your child might say things you weren’t ready to hear: “I’m depressed,” “I hate myself,” “I’ve thought about not being here anymore.” Your job is to not panic.
Breathe. Stay present. Say,
“Thank you for trusting me. We’ll get through this together.”
Then follow through with support—counseling, safe friends, and faith-based or therapeutic communities. Don’t delay.
Tip 5: Let Them See Your Emotions, Too
It’s okay to say, “That scared me,” or “I’m hurting, too.” Vulnerability invites vulnerability. Just be sure your emotional expression isn’t about you—it’s a doorway to deeper connection.
You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be present.
The truth is, mental health is real. And often, it’s invisible. We must lean in—not with blame or solutions—but with love, listening, and presence.
If you’re struggling to reach your child or feel overwhelmed by their emotional needs, don’t go it alone.
📞 Contact a licensed therapist at www.familiesofusa.com or call 910-860-9787.
Let us help you navigate the parenting journey with compassion, clarity, and connection.
Let’s fight for our children with conversations, not criticism. 💙
